What Kind of Lover Are You?

Experts say there are six distinct ways you are able to be “in love.” And your love fashion may change over the course of your relationship.

Knowing your style can assist you to value your relationship, says Susan Hendrick, PhD. It will allow you to have realistic expectations about how it evolves and how love happens for you. You’ll know to not worry if there aren’t fireworks, if you comprehend that it is standard for a loving couple to have a platonic relationship, for example.

So what kind of lover are you? Take a look at these descriptions learn how you can keep your relationship healthy and contented, and to find your personal style.

The romantic

You love being in love. You send them love quotes for her/him. Maybe you are swept away by your new lover’s looks or other appealing physical aspects— disappointed and when they change over time.

Ensure that it stays healthy: Recall that true love does not recede with his hairline, and as the relationship grows romance doesn’t have to fade. Strategy dates, weekend escapes, or just-the-two-of-you vacations to rekindle the spark that ignited your relationship, proposes Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle and relationship specialist for Perfectmatch.com.


The list-machine

“You have criteria that are important, and you won’t alter them,” Schwartz says. Even if you are in a committed relationship, you may put a lot of pressure on your own partner to live up to your standards.

Keep it healthy: Let go of the list. Schwartz warns that clinging to those must haves could mean a chafed relationship or a life that is solitary. “Finally, the important things are companionship, love, a capacity for forgiveness,” she says. “Not the items that could impress outsiders.”


The obsessive

You desire to spend your entire time with your partner. And you always worry about your relationship, even when you’ve been together for years.

Ensure that it stays healthy: “Comprehend that too much of a great thing can be too much.” You may need to talk to a counselor who can enable you to comprehend why you feel so insecure and allow you to find ways to place your relationship in perspective.


The giver

You may give greater than you get. You are not looking after you, although you are always working selflessly to meet the needs of your partner.

Keep it healthy: It’s very important to have a life beyond your marriage. Develop your own interests, cultivate your own camaraderie, and reserve time to do things you like to do— .


The player

You adore courtship. “For these lovers, the pursuit is lots of it,” Schwartz says. You are easily bored in long-term relationships and your eye may roam.

Keep it healthy: First, prevent situations which could result in affairs. “Don’t have a drink with that interesting coworker,” Schwartz says. “Take temptation from your life.” In place of looking for delight outside your relationship, try doing new things (salsa dancing, anyone?) with your partner, to help you see him in a fresh light.


The buddy

Love looks to creep up on you. One day you think, “Wow, I Have really been spending a lot of time with Jack,” then realize you are in love. In the long term, your relationship may be quiet, but it’s not weak.

Keep it healthy: Don’t let your thing get too platonic. “You need moments of love affair,” Schwartz says.